We all travel through life making decisions; some we view as wise at the time, others we see as irresponsible. One of the numerous benefits of hindsight is it can lend clarity to our past choices and we are able to view our experiences with wisdom. However, there are always regrets. When a person is asked if they would do anything differently, whether they have any regrets about their choices, and they say no, they are adamant they would never change a thing, is there any truth in their claim? Are we all capable in living a happy, fulfilled life without regret? And why does regret weigh so many of us down; what function does it serve?
Unfortunately, many of us are plagued with regret; things we didn’t do, should have done, would do over, never should have said, never even tried, the list is long. The little regrets turn into big burdens resembling a large heavy rock we carry around with us everywhere, into every relationship, every job and every situation. We become conditioned into thinking this way and we are held back, bogged down with the unrelenting weight of regret.
Regret serves no function. In fact, it does not help us evolve at all, but keeps us stagnant. We do not grow or learn from regret. Regret is like self-sabotage; it prevents us from moving forward, instead we become obsessed with looking back, consumed with thoughts on how we could have done things differently.
The extent to which regret affects our lives is significant; it can even manifest physically. We have all seen people who are burdened with regret and refuse to relinquish their hold. It shows on their face; they appear hardened and seem to be a lot older than their years. Weariness sits about their shoulders and life has lost all joy for them. This is not how any of us want to appear to others. It is the same for those who are happy and stand by the choices they’ve made in their lives; they appear younger and lighter than their years.
It comes down to the type of relationship you have with yourself. If you are kind with yourself and realise that you are only ever making decisions based on your experience and wisdom available to you at that specific time in your life, that you are doing the best you can, then you will see the redundancy of regret. It is not needed; it serves no function, other then to frustrate you. It serves to hinder not help.
The truth of the matter is nothing can be changed by just thinking about it. We cannot go back to the past and rearrange events to suit. The best we can do is look back and see where and what our choices have brought us. If we are not pleased with the results then we can decide to choose differently next time. If the past has any power at all, it is to help us learn from our experiences and evolve.
So, are we capable of living without regret? Are we able to let go and free ourselves? The people who refuse to be controlled by regret say we are. Perhaps those who understand regret to be a waste of time and energy, really are telling the truth when they say they have no regrets. It doesn’t mean they are pleased with all their past choices, it just means they have made peace with their past and have moved on.
It makes sense to be selective about our thoughts; regret takes place as a thought-form, so why not choose a different thought, one that is charged with a higher energy than regret.
The heavy rock of regret strips us of the enjoyment and lightness that comes from living a life without regret. If we learn what we need to learn and move on, regret will never have the chance to weigh us down.