I have fallen hard! Yes, I am in LOVE!
An unusual way to begin my article? Granted. But then, this month has been profoundly unusual and all my articles have love as their premise so, it would actually be quite odd if this one was not, also. Now, while love is nigh impossible to define, when I say love, I mean the whole package the feelings associated with the completion of what I believe I am all about, be that a moment of physical, emotional, spiritual or intellectual love or all of them together.
Let us consider this new found burning, this rising hunger I have within me and what on earth it has to do with balance
Well, without giving away my own plot I am in TRUE LOVE with someone, a being that so deliciously fills my senses and holds my heart in the palm of his hands that I am as ravenous as he is at times. I simply cannot let him go for fear that he will disappear and reality will course through me again, haunting me forever more as I search and never quite find, him again. Sounds fanatical and obsessive, does it not? But when our heart has found something that makes us feel this strongly, of course we do not want them to leave us. When we find someone that is so ideal, so perfect and exactly what we think we have been looking for, why would we want that to change?
Ok, enough cryptic messages from me. I promise to disclose what I am babbling about but not before I have said a few more things so that you, too, can begin to understand where my longing comes from.
Love changes everything
Imagine having your face cupped in the hands of someone who loves you completely. Imagine how they would trace the outline of your face with their finger and you would pulse beneath their touch almost willing yourself to explode because the longing was so great. Imagine as their breath gently caresses your lips, trembling with anticipation, as they whisper how much they love only you just above them. Imagine being held by this being who is as drunk and consumed by your scent as you are theirs. Imagine being held so close that it does not feel close enough. And now, my friends, we are only touching the surface.
Who, may you ask, has done away with all of my realities and replaced it with this soul felt need to be just as gently held in my mind, as my body wishes to be? Why, he is a character in a book – Edward, the vampire, from Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, naturally. Have I lost my mind? Quite possibly; and if this is losing my mind then consider mine lost and gone for good.
And what of balance?
Well, it is because we can so easily place our hearts in this ideal that we then measure all in our actual world, by them. Who would not want an Edward in their lives (and yes, the fact that he is immortal is indeed a great deal of his charm)? Someone who cherishes your soul so inexplicably that you would hand it to him unquestioningly? Of course I am female so romance is probably infinitely more attractive to me than to my male counterparts (though not all ladies, for some men are poetic in their romanticism!) and I, unfortunately, am human and in love with love. I have, however, measured all against my God from the story and none compare. Well, one comes close. My dose of reality lies in being told by my daughter that he is a work of fiction; he is not real! But I want him to be real, and this is the point. I want what he gives his love, to be what I am blessed with too and although I believe I am extremely balanced; I am not, am I?
We look for an ideal and perhaps, in this, we lose opportunities to really experience love because we are so busy comparing who is before us to what we wish they were. Why then would we be surprised when they are not? It is illogical to think they could be as perfect as our dreams envisage but our heart is not in the realm of logic, is it? Exactly, we long to be saved from logic and reality and to be held so divinely against and within the heart of another that logic cannot possibly exist. We hunger for a love so pure and surreal that we are swept off our feet (to be taken away from reality) and given our chance to live from the inside out. Could anyone possibly live up to what we imagine? Could we? Does a perfect love and being really exist? Why do we so easily leave someone for another who merely speaks what we think we want to hear? How can we leave what we have for what we think is better? Does our ideal create an impossible situation to live with? Are we setting ourselves up for a fall? Or, are we, perhaps, even ruining opportunities for ourselves by being so idealistic? Your perfect match could be right before you but, because he/she does not fit your ideal model, you may well allow love to pass you by?
Between you and me, I am betting on the ideal every time!
Reference: Now, although they are masterful, please do NOT go and read Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” Series (Atom Books 2006) because I truly do want Edward all to myself!