Experience has taught me that I am most out of balance when I am highly emotional and, this is also when my negative judgements are heightened. It is when my acceptance of life is foremost in my self that I then feel balanced with the world around me and my position within it. I will, however, continue to judge things but it will be a positive experience instead. This is when I will find something picture perfect, or I will see others with loving eyes and I will be judging affirmatively. My inner harmony, as it were, is a more balanced state when I step back from the overreacting, high expectation, emotional aspects of my being. One simply cannot understand anything clearly if one cannot see it clearly.
Your personal experience, beliefs and values are the basis for your judgements and opinions. The standard by which you judge something is highly subjective and hence, invested with emotion. When someone disagrees with your view, a battle of wills and judgement ensues. This occurs because we each carry with us a subjective view of our world. No two eyes will ever see exactly the same thing because our internalized perceptions are based on our unique inner structure.
Constantly judging something, or people, is hard work. It involves investing emotion into something the whole time. Is it not easier to just consider something for how it is, simply because it just is? In my experience, judgement often equates to anger and people are judged as bad because of their behaviour and actions. Why then, do we continue to hold judgements if it creates emotional unrest within us?
The actual judgement is the end result. Beforehand, there is thought, belief structure, values, comparison and emotion involved. Our ability to judge rests in our instinctive nature to react. If we believe certain actions to be bad, then by definition, this makes those who commit these acts, bad too. We compare behaviour (and things) to what we believe is right, good and, ultimately, ideal. No-one can live as an ideal – in a state of perfection – all of the time. Why do we expect them to? It is when our expectations are not upheld, that our comparative nature kicks in and we judge. Should we then learn to adapt our expectations? Is there such a thing as healthy judgement?
The spiritual alternative to judgement is known as discernment where individuals are asked to distinguish something (or someone) by their understanding of it. This involves considerable thought and deliberate distance from what it is you are observing as one needs to see all sides to something before determining how to respond to it or feel about it. Can we ever really understand someone/thing when it is not part of our experience? Likewise, can we judge something/one when we have only face-value to go by? Or, can we only compare things within our personal realm of life experience and wisdom? A judgement is an immediate response, founded in opinion and emotion and, although it too, is seeking truth for us, it does so in a manner that is subjective. Which of these is the path for us?
Can we balance our sense of judgement, or discernment? On the one hand, keeping our values alive by determining something/one may be bad for us, whilst maintaining that other things are revered as important? Do we actually instinctively balance ourselves by the very nature that this duality of judgement exists within us? Some things (and people) will always fit into our sense of goodness whilst other things, will not. Does this not give us balance? This sounds possible but is it?
To be balanced then, is to be constantly in a state of giving equal measure to all aspects of oneself. Therefore, if one is in judgement, or completely angry, or reacting, or denying what they feel, then one cannot be balanced or can they, if awareness of being in this state exists? Opposites attract because it offers balance – it evens out that which we have with what we need. Having someone who can be your Devil’s Advocate gives you a more balanced view just as someone who offers you an opportunity to understand an experience you have not yet had, balances your judgement of it.
I believe our individual morality exists so that we may find our way in our world. We use our judgements to assist us in balancing who we are with what we are surrounded by. Our quest for personal truth is governed by the beliefs we hold so that we may integrate our purpose with our experience. For our inner life to balance our outer one, wisdom shall be founded in understanding and tolerance, a part of acceptance and everything, guided by love.