Step 4: Take time to look around you
I was astounded a while ago to discover how many people around me (e.g. at schools, in my street, people I know where our business is etc) didn’t notice the amount of rainbows we had in our skies. We went through a spell of having double rainbows everywhere … we were surrounded by them. No sooner would one spring to life than another would to the left of it and then another behind where you stood and so on. This phenomenon actually went on for weeks. They were the largest, widest and deepest hued rainbows I can remember seeing in ages. All in my family were in awe of this spectacle and wishes were popping up left right and centre and pots of gold and luck were discussed at length. No-body else noticed them. I over-heard a small child tell her mother about the biggest and best rainbow of all and her mother said, “That’s nice, dear!” which is a comment we have all used I know, particularly when we aren’t that interested and we’re just too busy to stop. I count that moment as a life lesson actually … it reminded me of myself. It also reminded me of how important the “little things” are – you know, these rainbows were so beautiful, so exceptionally beautiful and they became a huge source of inspiration for my children &, even now, they still talk about how amazing they were. They were there to be seen and to be admired and to spark imaginations and to inspire the soul … they were there for US! We have taught our children to look up and look around them and they are the first ones to point out wildlife or rainbows or a cloud burst (where the sun breaks through a cloud and you have streams of light rays) or even a swarm of insects, now. We wanted them to notice the world around them – because it is a world they are a part of.
You put more balance into your life when you take some time out of it. Go for a walk and listen to what’s around you, look at the colours of the birds flying past & really look at the types of flowers and trees there are. Use walking time as thinking time if you like … sort out the things in your head, plan a holiday – but feel the sun on your face or listen to the sound the wind makes when it weaves its way through the branches and feel the earth below you whilst you do. The minute you notice these things, you’ll notice more about your life … more will open up for you, more will come to you and you will really begin to understand your life purpose and why you are moved in the way you are.
We don’t live in isolation (though this is so tempting at times!!!!). There is a world beyond the world in our heads and another world beyond the have to’s and must do’s, too. Take the time to be a part of it and recognize why it is a part of your life.
Work out what priorities you have in life and look at what is important to you. Consider how you can best achieve what you desire and take the time to look at the lives and loves of those you live with too. Establish, as a family, who can do what and how you can all help each other so that there is “me time” for everyone. Re-training and changing my life was really hard to do. I believed that I had to do it all and be it all – all of the time. I was angry all the time and I resented the fact that everyone seemed to have a life except me. Everyone else didn’t have a care in the world and I wanted that too. I wanted, so desperately, to get a life … I hated this one … I wanted just a “me” life, too. What I was doing, I realized, was pushing everyone away from me and teaching them that I believed I wasn’t important enough to have a life beyond the home. I wasn’t showing them a healthy way to be at all. There was no sense of responsibility or accountability for them because I was doing it all. The more I did, the less they became responsible for. Think about this logically … why would we do this? Why would I do this and where would it get me?
So, I set about re-training myself and hence, my family. Everyone pitches in because everyone lives here and everyone is responsible for their own lives and the impact this has on others. I freed up enormous amounts of my time when things were being done by someone else. It was amazing actually! Once this shifted, I became a much easier person to live with too I can assure you. The more I began to think that I was important and that I could exist outside of this home environment I had trapped myself in, the more I got out of life and then, put back into it.
My solutions may not be your solutions – just something to think about. Everybody’s situation is different and everybody has to find what works for them in their own way. I am sure you discover what your way is.